But Make It a Spicy Meatball Contract
Ciao, troublemakers! Jacob here—your favorite fork-wielding, garlic-crushing, slightly grumpy Ochef. Before you start poking around my digital kitchen, let’s get one thing straight: These terms are like Nonno’s rules for the stove—“Se non segui, niente dolce” (“If you don’t follow, no dessert”).
Use Your Noodle (Legally)
This site is for cooking enthusiasts , not bots or trolls. If you’re here to scrape recipes for your sketchy AI startup, I’ll find you. And I’ll sic Nonno’s ghost on you.
My Recipes, Your Kitchen
You can cook my recipes, post photos of your masterpiece, and even argue about my controversial sriracha carbonara. But do not copy-paste my content like it’s your nonna’s secret marinara. That’s theft—and theft deserves a fate worse than undercooked pasta.
Comments Section: Fight Club Rules
Insult my olive oil? Fine—I’ll roast back . Spam my posts with pyramid schemes? Banned faster than overcooked risotto. Be kind, or be gone.
Account? More Like Acciughe
If you create an account (yes, we have one—it’s where we hide the real secret recipes), don’t share your password like a plate of stale biscotti. If someone hacks you and posts a recipe for “Ochef-Style Cardboard,” that’s on you .
Pricing & Payments (For Paid Content)
If you ever fork over cash for my premium “How to Swear in Tuscan” masterclass, prices are in USD. No refunds if you’re offended by my sauce metaphors.
I Can Kick You Out (And I Will)
Break my rules? I’ll terminate your account like a burnt garlic clove. No warnings. No appeals. Just a one-way ticket to “Blockedville.”
Changes to These Terms
I’ll update these rules faster than you can say “Mi dispiace!” Check back often—or don’t. But ignorance is no excuse when you’re banned for microwaving my ragù.
Disputes? Let’s Settle It Over Wine
Got a problem? Email me. If we can’t fix it, we’ll let a judge in Tuscany decide. And I’ll bring Nonno’s cursed espresso to the trial.
Now, Go Forth and Cook!
Enough legalese. Grab a pan, break a rule (but not these rules), and make something that’d make Nonno proud.
—Jacob, the Ochef (and my lawyer, who says this is “mostly legal”)
P.S. Still confused? Follow me:
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Email for protests (or prosciutto bribes): [email protected]
(P.P.S. Violate these terms? I’ll revoke your pasta privileges. Forever.) 🍝🚫